Introduction : love (and respect) is enough -- The simple secret to a better marriage -- To communicate, decipher the code -- Why she won't respect--why he won't love -- What men fear most can keep the crazy cycle spinning -- She fears being a doormat -- He's tired of "just not getting it" -- She worries about being a hypocrite -- He complains, "I get no respect!" -- She thinks she can't forgive him -- He says, "Nobody can love that woman!" -- C-o-u-p-l-e : how to spell love to your wife -- Closeness ... she wants you to be close -- Openness--she wants you to open up to her -- Understanding--don't try to "fix her", just listen -- Peacemaking--she wants you to say, "I'm sorry" -- Loyalty--she needs to know you're committed -- Esteem--she wants you to honor and cherish her -- C-h-a-i-r-s : how to spell respect to your husband -- Conquest--appreciate his desire to work and achieve -- Hierarchy--appreciate his desire to protect and provide -- Authority--appreciate his desire to serve and to lead -- Insight--appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel -- Relationship--appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship -- Sexuality--appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy -- The energizing cycle will work if you do -- Part III: The rewarded cycle -- The real reason to love and respect -- The truth can make you free, indeed -- Conclusion: pink and blue can make God's purple.