Prologue: Why Should I Believe You Two? --xxvii -- Chapter 1 What If I Don't Fit This Life?: The Myth of the Perfect Military Spouse Versus Authenticity and Uniqueness -- 1 -- What about That Mythical Creature Who Shows Up during Deployments? -- 3 -- Chapter 2 Keys to Happiness and What That Means to You: What the Research on Happiness Tells Us about Your Life with the Military -- 7 -- First Key to Happiness: Seek Out Friends and Support -- 8 -- Second Key to Happiness: Cultivate Faith -- 8 -- Third Key to Happiness: Discover Simple Joys -- 9 -- Fourth Key to Happiness: Know What You Want and Take Action to Achieve It -- 9 -- Fifth Key to Happiness: Work from Your Strengths to Serve a Greater Good -- 11 -- Chapter 3 Seek Out Friends and Support: How to Make Friends and Stay Connected as You Move -- 15 -- Find Other Newcomers -- 16 -- Attend Activities That Interest You and Talk with People -- 16 -- Connect with Other Military Spouses during Deployments -- 18 -- Don't Limit Yourself to Activities on Post or Base -- 21 -- Too Shy to Speak Up? -- 21 -- Create Your "Agenda" -- 22 -- Be Curious -- 23 -- Ask for a Job -- 24 -- Find or Create Your Tribe! -- 24 -- How Do You Make Time for Your Friends? -- 25 -- Make and Keep Friends for Life -- 26 -- Reach Out to Those Who Are New -- 27 -- Chapter 4 If the Military Wanted You to Have a Spouse, They Would Have Issued You One: Relationship Resources and Ideas -- 29 -- Find Something for Yourself and Strengthen Your Relationship -- 29 -- Take Advantage of Marriage Enrichment Classes and Resources -- 30 -- Learn from the Experience of Other Military Couples -- 33 -- Access Additional Relationship Resources at Reunion Time -- 36 -- Chapter 5 Faith, Hope, and Gratitude: Essentials to Your Overall Happiness in Life -- 39 -- Daily Prayer, Weekly Service, Bible Study, and Reading Inspirational Devotionals -- 41 -- Journaling -- 41 -- Daily Meditation and/or Yoga or Tai Chi -- 43 -- "Legs Up the Wall" -- 43 -- Cultivate Quiet Time: Find Time for Self-Reflection in Simple Activities -- 44 -- Time in Nature -- 45 -- Deep Conversations with Friends -- 45 -- Importance of Gratitude-And the Lesson of the Rainbow Glasses -- 45 -- Chapter 6 Simple Joys...and Energy for Life!: How to Have the Energy to Go for Your Dreams -- 51 -- One Simple Exercise-For Joy and Energy -- 51 -- Learn to Live Strategically -- 59 -- Learn to Say No -- 59 -- Know That You Have a Choice -- 60 -- Breathe -- 61 -- Take One Day at a Time -- 62 -- Think Movement, Not Exercise -- 63 -- Dump Your Time and Energy Drains -- 64 -- Choose Foods and Beverages for Energy -- 66 -- Turn Interests into Energy! -- 66 -- Chapter 7 Figure Out Who You Are and What You Want: Exercises to Help You Figure Out Your Priorities, Strengths, and a Vision for Your Life -- 69 -- Know What You Want-And Why This Matters -- 69 -- Develop Whole-istic Dreams -- 70 -- Start with the Ideal Life Exercise -- 72 -- Get Input from Your Friends and Family -- 75 -- Forget the "Shoulds" and Comparisons -- 76 -- Adopt the "As Is" Philosophy -- 78 -- Celebrate Your Strengths -- 80 -- Identify Your Strengths So You Can Celebrate Them -- 82 -- Choose Your Battles-Or Choose Your Weakness -- 82 -- Create Your Life List: 101 Things I want to Do, Be, Have in My Life -- 84 -- Start Your Heart's Desires File -- 86 -- Identify a Passion to Help Others -- 86 -- Action Steps -- 86 -- Chapter 8 How Can I Pursue a Career While I'm Married to the Military?: Finding Meaningful Work as You Move -- 89 -- Be Aware of the Realities -- 89 -- First, Know What You Want -- 92 -- Complete the Assessment/Interest Inventories and Pay Attention to Them -- 93 -- Invest Time in Information Interviews -- 94 -- Join and Stay Active in Your Professional Association -- 95 -- Get Your Professional Certification -- 96 -- Look for Mentors, Negotiate Career-Building Opportunities, and Be Proactive on Cross Training -- 96 -- Start Early in Your Job Search and Be Persistent -- 97 -- Be Willing to Take a Pay Cut for New Experience -- 98 -- Be Prepared to Make Changes in the Kind of Work You Do -- 99 -- Learn to Sell What You Bring to an Employer -- 99 -- Build Networking Skills to Make and Keep Great Connections -- 101 -- Can't the Services Help Us with This? -- 101 -- What if No Job is Available in Your Career Field with This Move? -- 103 -- Chapter 9 Wouldn't It Be Easier to Have My Own Business?: Moving a Business as You Move -- 107 -- Realistic News -- 107 -- Can You Make Money Right Away? -- 108 -- Where Will You Get Your Customers or Clients? -- 109 -- Are You Ready to Do It All? -- 109 -- Do You Have What It Takes, or, Are You Cut Out for Entrepreneurship? -- 109 -- How Will This Affect Your Family? -- 110 -- Some Good News and Success Stories -- 110 -- Virtual Advantage -- 111 -- Virtual Businesses Today Can Cover a Wide Range of Specialties -- 112 -- Businesses That Develop by Chance and Serendipity-And Because of-Military Life -- 113 -- Bottom Line -- 114 -- Resources for Virtual Assistants -- 116 -- Military Spouse Business Mentioned Here -- 117 -- Chapter 10 To Volunteer or Not to Volunteer: Volunteering Your Time Has Benefits and Challenges -- 119 -- Volunteering Connects You to the Military Community -- 119 -- Volunteering Increases Your Energy and Happiness -- 123 -- Volunteering Develops Skills -- 125 -- Be Aware! Volunteering Can Also Cause Problems -- 127 -- Action Steps -- 128 -- What Skill Do You Want to Use or Learn? -- 129 -- Chapter 11 Try These Effective and Fun Goal Achieving Techniques: How to Move Toward Your Goals Even as You Move with the Military -- 131 -- Choose a Primary Focus for Each Stage of Life -- 131 -- Apply the Basics of Effective Goal Setting and Achieving -- 133 -- Determine the Outcome of Your Outcomes -- 134 -- Brainstorm Second and Third Right Answers -- 135 -- Develop a Plan of Action and Get Moving -- 138 -- Open Yourself Up to Serendipity -- 139 -- Set Short-Term and Long-Term Goals, Big and Small -- 141 -- Create a Visual Treasure Map of Your Dreams -- 141 -- Get Your Spouse's Support -- 144 -- Financing Your Dream -- 144 -- Reap the Rewards of Risk Taking -- 145 -- Know That Failure Isn't Always Failure -- 148 -- Monitor Your Self-Talk-The Power of Words -- 148 -- Action Steps -- 150 -- Financial Resources -- 151 -- Chapter 12 Get Help for Your Dreams: How to Effectively Ask for and Create the Support You Need -- 153 -- Teams Help You Get What You Want -- 153 -- Ask for What You Want -- 157 -- And Ask for Things That Affect All of Us -- 159 -- Action Steps -- 160 -- Chapter 13 Ask for Help, Accept Help, Offer Help in Challenging Times: Acknowledge That Extra Help Is Necessary -- 163 -- Ask for-And Accept-Help When You Need It -- 163 -- Pay It Forward -- 164 -- Be Specific in Your Offers of Help -- 165 -- Access the Help That Is Available -- 166 -- Make Use of Military OneSource-One Incredible Resource -- 166 -- Get Professional Help When Necessary -- 168 -- Recognize the Signs of Depression -- 170 -- Chapter 14 Richness of Military Life: Look at the Benefits as Well as the Challenges of This Lifestyle -- 173 -- Cherish Patriotism, Pride, and Esprit de Corps -- 174 -- Get to Know Our Country -- 174 -- Seek Out Unique Opportunities, Compliments of Uncle Sam -- 174 -- Take the Opportunity to Reinvent Yourself -- 176 -- Discover New Interests -- 177 -- Open the World to Your Kids -- 179 -- Open Yourself to the World -- 180 -- Relish the Opportunity for Personal Growth -- 181 -- Action Steps -- 181 -- Chapter 15 It's Time to Take Action for Your Life: Start Today to Craft a Life That Works for You -- 183 -- Extended Learning Centers -- 184 -- Specific Resources for Militaiy Families -- 185 -- Nonfiction Books-Some Highlights -- 185 -- Fiction Books-A Sampling -- 187 -- Magazines, Newspapers, and Newsletters -- 187 -- Service Resources -- 188.