Relationship sanity vs. irrelationship -- Not wanting what we think we want -- Drilldown: how irrelationship works -- Compassionate empathy in our everyday lives -- Self-other help -- Self-other assessment: the 40-20-40 -- The 40-20-40 as the cornerstone of relationship sanity -- Practical applications of compassionate empathy -- Performer and audience : how it works -- The way of relationship sanity : the dream sequence -- The way of relationship sanity -- Discovery -- Repair (interactive) -- Empowerment -- Alternatives -- Mutuality -- Conclusion the road of relationship sanity -- Chapter notes -- Resources.