The first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do any thing is getting them to hear you out. Whether the person is a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades. JSIC READING LIST 2012

Includes index. CONTENTS Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi xv Acknowledgments xvii SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1 Who's Holding YOU Hostage? 2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes from "No" to "Yes" SECTION II The Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone 25 3 Move Yourself from "Oh F#@& to OK" 4 Rewire Yourself to Listen 5 Make the Other Person Feel "Felt" 6 Be More Interested Than Interesting 7 Make People Feel Valuable 8 Help People to Exhale Emotionally and Mentally 9 Check Your Dissonance at the Door 10 When All Seems Lost-Bare Your Neck 11 Steer Clear of Toxic People SECTION III 12 Quick and Easy Ways to Achieve Buy-In and Get Through 12 The Impossibility Question 13 The Magic Paradox 14 The Empathy Jolt 15 The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2 16 "Do You Really Believe That?" 17 The Power of "Hmmm ..." 18 The Stipulation Gambit 19 From Transaction to Transformation 20 Side by Side 21 Fill in the Blanks 22 Take It All the Way to "No" 23 The Power Thank You and Power Apology SECTION IV Putting It All Together: Fast Fixes for Seven Challenging Situations 24 The Team from Hell 25 Climbing the Ladder 26 The Narcissist at the Table 27 Stranger in Town 28 The Human Explosion 29 Getting Through to Yourself 30 Six Degrees of Separation Afterword Index About the Author Keynotes/Workshops

Foreword / Keith Ferrazzi -- Acknowledgments -- section I. The secret to reaching anyone -- 1. Who's holding YOU hostage? -- The persuasion cycle -- The secret : getting through is simple -- 2. A little science : how the brain goes from "NO" to "YES" -- The three-part brain -- Amygdala hijack and the death of rational thought -- Mirror neurons -- From theory to action -- section II. The nine core rules for getting through to anyone -- 3. Move yourself from "OH F#@& to OK" -- Get through to yourself first -- Speed is everything -- The "Oh F#@& to OK" process -- The power of "Oh F#@&" -- The "Oh F#@& to OK" speed drill -- 4. Rewire yourself to listen -- "But I do listen...don't I?" -- How well do you know the people you know? -- 5. Make the other person feel "felt" -- Why does "feeling felt" change people? -- The steps to making another person feel "felt" -- 6. Be more interested than interesting -- The "interesting" Jackass -- Don't just act interested--be interested -- 7. Make people feel valuable -- 8. Help people to exhale emotionally and mentally -- Moving a person away from distress -- Guiding a person to exhale -- 9. Check your dissonance at the door -- The perils of corporate dissonance -- When you can't avoid dissonance, anticipate it -- 10. When all seems lost--bare your neck -- Show them your neck, and they'll want to show you theirs -- 11. Steer clear of toxic people -- Needy people -- Bullies -- Takers -- Narcissists -- Psychopaths -- Mirror check : who's the problem? -- section III. 12 quick and easy ways to achieve buy-in and get through -- 12. The impossibility question -- 13. The magic paradox -- The cascade of "yes" -- A trust-gaining move -- 14. The empathy jolt -- How it works -- When to employ the empathy jolt -- The power of analogy -- 15. The reverse play, empathy jolt #2 -- 16. Do you really believe that? -- 17. The power of "Hmmm..." -- 18. The stipulation gambit -- 19. From transaction to transformation -- Negotiating versus relating -- What question would make you look up? -- 20. Side by side -- 21. Fill in the blanks -- 22. Take it all the way to "no" -- 23. The power thank you and power apology -- "Thank you" versus the power thank you -- The power apology -- section IV. Putting it all together : fast fixes for seven challenging situations -- 24. The team from hell -- 25. Climbing the ladder -- 26. The narcissist at the table -- 27. Stranger in town -- The visibility stage -- The credibility stage -- The profitability stage -- 28. The human explosion -- 29. Getting through to yourself -- 30. Six degrees of separation -- Create one-on-one situations -- Make virtual allies -- Reach the gatekeepers -- Afterword -- Index -- About the author -- Keynotes/Workshops.